Wikipedia:Peer review/Beyoncé/archive3

Beyoncé

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This article is about one of the greatest and most influential pop stars of all time—Beyoncé. I plan to take this article to WP:FAC so any and all comments are extremely appreciated, given this is the longest article i've ever written, at 9.5k words. Much thanks to Medxvo, SNUGGUMS and Z1720 for their comments on the article, edits, and help with reducing the article's size. Best, 750 h+ 15:28, 14 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Just want to acknowledge that when 750h+ started working on this article, it was over 14,000 words long and nominated for GAR. 750+ has done a lot of work fixing up this article than their above statement might be hinting at, and I'm excited for this to reach FAC if it is ready. Z1720 (talk) 01:54, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]
much thanks! would not be possible without you too who's removed much redundant info! 750 h+ 02:06, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Vacant0

Will review this as promised. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 15:33, 14 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Vacant0: ? 750 h+ 07:42, 22 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'll leave more comments tomorrow. It is unlikely that I'll finish this off next week. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 12:04, 22 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I was very busy and did not have time for this. I'll drop off some comments tomorrow and will then finish off this next week. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 20:17, 25 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The article is pretty long, so I'll try to review it entirely before I leave the country.

I'll start from the references:
- There's incosistency in how references titles are written, some use title case while some use sentence case. If you want to change them to title case, I'd suggest using the User:ZKang123/TitleCaseConverter.js script, otherwise you'd have to do it manually if you want to use sentence case.
- There's also incosistency between the linking of websites in references. Some, like Vulture and HuffPost, aren't wikilinked.
- I'm unsure about the reliability of Evening Standard and Kreol International Magazine and whether they can be considered high-quality sources.
- Lester (2024) has missing ISSN/JSTOR.
Lede:
- Suggest wikilinking R&B.
- The lede reads surprisingly well to me. I do not have any concerns regarding this part of the article.
Early life also looks good to me. Did not spot any issues.

@750h+: I'm back. I'll finish this review today. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 17:54, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I've read through other parts of the article and I don't really have anything to add. The article looks ready to me. Feel free to ping me at FAC and I'll give it a thorough review. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 20:05, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

great thanks, 750 h+ 02:10, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Z1720

Posting this here instead of the talk page: The first paragraph of "Voice and musical style" falls into the "X says Y" pattern. While I will try to do a WP:LIBRARY search for more sources which might help expand this section, should this paragraph be reworded more like WP:RECEPTION suggests, with each sentence having categories of information (and multiple citations supporting it) instead of "reporter says Y about her voice"? Z1720 (talk) 01:41, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Songwriting section: The first paragraph mentions awards she has won for songwriting. Would this be more appropriate in the "Life and career" or "Achievements" sections, or is it fine to stay here? Z1720 (talk) 01:44, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Achievements section: Many of the achievements listed here are also mentioned in the "Life and career" section, such as the Academy Award and Grammy awards. Should this information be consolidated in one section or another? Z1720 (talk) 16:29, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

wait i’ll give a response to these tommorow it’s late where I am. 750 h+ 17:22, 15 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

ok so i'll remove the repeated awards in the life and career section, i've expanded the Voice and musical section and i can reword it, and i'll move the awards in Songwriting to the section it belongs in. 750 h+ 09:51, 16 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Pokelego999

Taking this on as part of a review swap. Will leave comments soon. Magneton Considerer: Pokelego999 (Talk) (Contribs) 03:45, 29 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@750h+: Going to be reviewing this as someone without too much music experience, so feel free to dispute anything I say here if there's a guideline I'm unfamiliar with.

Lead looks good, but I feel some mention of when she began to be popular solo would be helpful for gauging when she began to make a significant impact without being part of Destiny's Child.
- Her solo career began popular with her debut solo album; it's somewhat there, with "best-selling albums of the 21st century"

"After they lost, Beyoncé attributed the failure to a poor song choice" I'd clarify this is on the show and clarify what format they lost in, since this statement feels very abrupt as some who has never seen Star Search.

"which halved the family's income and led to them moving" Specify who "them" is. Is this the family or the group?

"which achieved multi-platinum status" could you specify or otherwise hyperlink this? As someone not too into music I have no idea what this means or what the significance is.

What happened to the fourth member of Destiny's Child? It's not mentioned that they lost another member until it's specified there's only three left. (In 1990-2001)
- a lot of members joined and left in an extremely short timespan so i've added "After the departure and addition of several members"

Not sure why the critical reception of The Fighting Temptations is mentioned since it doesn't seem too relevant to Beyonce specifically. Same with the later mention of Pink Panther's success, Obsessed's negative reviews, etc. Referencing awards or things that negatively impacted her person are relevant, but I'm not sure these films really are too relevant to her (Compared to something like the award she got from Cadillac Records).
- this is information usually included in actress/actor-related articles, though given the article's size i have removed some of this

What is an alter ego in music terms? I'm confused how it impacts her and her music.
- there's no such thing as an "alter ego in music terms", it's really just the same as any "alter ego"; Sasha Fierce was the stage persona that became largely associated with her during the whole I Am... Sasha Fierce era (2008-2010-ish)

The mention of her first pregnancy is a bit confusing since the first statement does not specify it was kept secret, before shifting to talk about music. Then it's stated a paragraph later that it was revealed. I'd change the wording to specify the pregnancy wasn't revealed publicly, just to make the connection more apparent (Correct me if I'm misconstruing things here, since I'm basing this solely off what I'm reading in the article rn)

Make sure the hyperlinks in the article are accurate. Both Nala in the Lion King section and Texas Hold 'Em in the article body were linking to different articles instead of the right ones. Fixed these two myself, but I'm not sure if there's more, so I'd advise taking a look through to make sure everything's linking properly.

"Due to her curves" I feel like this could be worded in a less casual way.

I feel the runway model bit is a bit out of place in personal life since it isn't too related to the other topics in there. Perhaps it could be placed in the life and career section?

"Beyoncé's lighter skin color and costuming has drawn criticism from the African-American community" Why has this drawn criticism? It's unclear what the actual reasons are from the community, especially since the following explanation doesn't actually give specifics either and is only one person's opinion.

Could you clarify what "boy, bye" means?

I'd clarify the gladiator commercial is for Pepsi

Could you clarify the significance of the Diamond and what a "blood diamond" is?

Overall article is very strong and very well put together. Let me know when this goes up for FAC and I'd be happy to support once changes are made. Magneton Considerer: Pokelego999 (Talk) (Contribs) 20:43, 29 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Pokelego999: much thanks for these comments! i think i've addressed all, although i have left a few replies! 750 h+ 13:20, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS and Z1720: since you guys have been largely involved with the article since the GAR, do you think this is ready for FAC? seems like we have two editors in support at the moment; should we wait for another review, or do we take it there? 750 h+ 02:15, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I've probably become too involved with editing the page after the GAR began to conduct a full review here or at FAC, but either way would recommend archiving references ASAP to reduce the chances of link rot. Many citations used are unarchived. Be sure to also thoroughly proofread for spelling and grammar before going for FA. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 02:45, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: thanks for the comments! it seems that the archive bot isn't working too well (at least for me) so i'll probably wait a bit to archive the sources. i'll go through a brief spelling check 750 h+ 09:05, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'd recommend going through WP:LIBRARY and trying to replace some sources with higher-quality academic ones, especially in sections that analyse Beyonce's influence like in the "Artistry", "Public image", "Wealth", and "Legacy" sections. A quick search on Google Scholar and WP:LIBRARY found some sources that could be incorporated (that aren't in the article yet). Z1720 (talk) 18:14, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I just did some cuts to the article: I encourage editors to take a look and read the edit summary I left about them. I will do a more thorough read later and probably suggest more places to trim now that I have had some time away from the article. Z1720 (talk) 18:38, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720: much thanks. I think this has more scholarly sources/books than a lot of her FA contemporaries though I am willing to find more sources. I would like to take this to FAC within the next two days. 750 h+ 00:35, 2 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720: given i'd like to take this article to FAC by hopefully tomorrow or within the next two days, do you think you could finalise your comments/copyedits by then? (it's 5pm AWST right now.) I'm currently going through the process of adding more scholar sources. 750 h+ 09:11, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Closing the peer review; additional scholary sources have been incorporated, and article has undergone a spelling and grammar check, with support from two editors. 750 h+ 04:03, 5 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

That's a good point. Someone would probably notice that at FAC, so better to incorporate those sources now before nominating. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 18:53, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]