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Draft talk:Scantrol AS

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COI Disclosure for Draft:Scantrol AS

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I welcome feedback from the reviewing editors and have avoided promotional language. Please feel free to improve the article further if needed. BardJrinnan (talk) 12:41, 27 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Resubmission, more in-depth third-party coverage now included

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Hi, I have now revised the draft in accordance with the previous feedback. I have integrated 8 new references that meet the notability requirements (in-depth, reliable, secondary, and independent). These include Ocean New, Teknisk Ukeblad, EcoMagazine, Offshore Magazine (2016),MarineLink, Offshore-Energy.biz, PLOS ONE and MDPI Applied Science. BardJrinnan (talk) 13:08, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Resubmission to align with Wikipedia’s neutrality and verifiability standards

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I have revised the draft to align with Wikipedia’s neutrality and verifiability standards. The article has been rewritten to remove promotional language, and to ensure a more neutral point of view The submission now references a range of independent, reliable, and published sources, and avoids relying on materials produced by the company itself.If the submission is declined again, I would greatly appreciate if the reviewer could point to any specific sentences or sections that may still fall short of Wikipedia's guidelines. BardJrinnan (talk) 11:45, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @BardJrinnan - sorry I didn't see this when reviewing your draft earlier today, but I hope my feedback helps. It's not so much the individual sentences as the general style, I think. And the emphasis on how successful the company is in general, like "By 2024, Scantrol's control systems had been installed on over 1,250 vessels across a range of maritime industries, including research, fisheries, offshore, and unmanned surface vessels (USV)" - this is a sentence I would expect to find in a sales pitch not an encyclopaedic article. What's interesting to most readers is something a bit more down-to-earth, maybe "Scantrol's control systems are used in many maritime industries and are installed on research ships, fishing vessels, offshore platforms and unmanned surface vessels (USV)." I admit the difference doesn't seem great on one sentence, but there are quite a lot of these sentences that seem intended to impress a potential buyer or funder more than to inform the general public. Other sentences are would be hard for an average reader to understand, e.g. "Scantrol's Autotrawl automatically controls the trawl net geometry by adjusting wire lengths to maintain symmetry in the trawl opening, based on data from net sensors and vessel motion." This could be rewritten as "Scantrol's Autotrawl is used in the fishing industry to automatically keep the trawl opening symmetrical when it is dragged behind the ship, using data from sensors on the net itself and the motion of the ship." Write for an average person, not an expert and especially not for a buyer of your products or a potential funder. Lijil (talk) 16:21, 2 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]