Wikipedia:Peer review/Colonel Sun/archive1
Appearance
Toolbox |
---|
![]() | This peer review discussion is closed. |
Colonel Sun was the continuation James Bond novel from Kingsley Amis, published in 1968. This has been a GA for over a decade, but I've recently given it a bit of a revamp, introducing new sources and rewriting throughout. A trip to FAC is envisaged after PR. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 12:17, 27 May 2025 (UTC)
Comments from Tim riley
[edit]- "serialised in the Daily Express newspaper" – I love it that in every Bond article you write you feel obliged to describe the Express as a newspaper. I salute you, for tenacity if not for accuracy.
- Trying to help people who may have seen it explain what it was back in the '60s? If they'd only seen the modern version they may be confused by the woeful effort it is today! - SchroCat (talk) 08:00, 30 May 2025 (UTC)
- Even then - [1] Tim riley talk 08:05, 30 May 2025 (UTC)
- "died in the early morning of 12 August 1964" – do we care for present purposes what time of day he died?
- "Glidrose took legal advice and found the Bond character could not be copyrighted" – not for here, but I hope when next we meet you will give me your expert opinion on why Bond couldn't be copyrighted. I'd be most interested.
- "Fleming's bother, the writer Peter Fleming" –"Brother" would be kinder than "bother".
- "considered that from while Colonel Sun was a good thriller" – one word too many. And in my view "although" would be better than "while" here.
- "Bradbury called the novel "a reasonable read but no more: neither vintage Fleming nor vintage Amis." Bradbury also noted that "it lacks a convincing rhetoric ... and the traditional Fleming frissons emerge only in muted form." – you've pretty much told us all this three paragraphs earlier.
- "Oberbeck, thought" – but earlier "Oberbeck ... sees". Past or present tense?
That's all from me. Pray give me a nudge when you go to FAC. Meanwhile I hope to see you at my current PR: Through the Looking-Glass. Tim riley talk 11:03, 28 May 2025 (UTC)
- Many thanks Tim; all sorted, per your suggestions. I'm hoping to get to Alice shortly. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 08:00, 30 May 2025 (UTC)
Comments by Alavense
[edit]- Sun had been sent to sabotage a Middle East détente conference which the Soviet Union is hosting - Wouldn't has been sent make more sense?
- Trying to find M and Colonel Sun, Bond is nearly captured by the Russians, but is saved by Litsas. Finally, Bond finds Sun's headquarters, but is knocked out by one of Sun's men - That same structure with both buts reads a bit repetitive.
- the short story collection For Your Eyes Only, was published in 1960 - Lose that comma.
- In May 1967 Amis wrote to his friend, the poet Philip Larkin and mentioned that he had finished writing the novel - A comma is missing there.
- Ariadne's fictitious colleagues, "Legakis" and "Papadogonas" were friends - Another one there.
- in Chapter two - Does that c have to be capital?
- Maybe link hydrogen bomb?
- especially that infections, cocky sense of well-being - Is everything right there?
- The reviewer for the Los Angeles Times, Charles Champlin, stated that he still enjoyed the novel - Why still?
That's what I saw. Kind regards, Alavense (talk) 16:42, 2 June 2025 (UTC)
- Many thanks Alavense: all done following your suggestions. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 09:50, 3 June 2025 (UTC)