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User:Don Stroud/Considerations for voluntary childlessness

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Voluntary childlessness, also called being childfree, describes the voluntary choice to not have children.

Reasons cited for being voluntarily childless

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Supporters of this lifestyle, such as Corinne Maier, French author of No Kids: 40 Reasons For Not Having Children, cite various reasons for their view.[1][2][3][4][5][6]

Personal and social

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An elderly woman with her pet rooster in Havana, Cuba. Some people prefer pets instead of children.
  • Simply not wanting to have children[7][8][9] Supporters of this lifestyle argue that they should not have to justify why they do not want children.[3]
    • Availability of effective contraception or sterilization makes the choice to remain voluntarily childless easier[10][11]
  • Uncertain or ambivalent feelings about having children[12][13]
  • Testimonies of parents who regret having children[1][2][3][5][14]
  • Positive attitudes and lack of regret of people who chose to not have children[7][12][15]
  • Other possibilities in life opening up due to the lack of children[13]
  • Lack of desire to perpetuate one's family line or pass on one's genes[4][3][5][9]
    • reluctance to replicate the genes of one's own parents in cases of child abuse[16]
  • Lack of a suitable partner or difficulty getting married[17]
    • These trends are important in countries where having children out of wedlock is highly unusual, such as China.[17]
  • Disapproval of societal treatment and expectations of men and women[17]
  • General existential angst[7][14]
  • Unwillingness to sacrifice freedom and independence to rearing children[2][4][5][6][18]
    • unwillingness to give up the current lifestyle[19]
  • Being godparents or helping relatives raise their children[10][12]
  • Possible deterioration of interpersonal relationships[7][15][20][21]
  • Preference of having a pet over a child[2][22]
  • Preference of pursuing personal development to raising children[6][7]
    • refusal to have one's needs and wants subjugated by those of someone else[6]
  • Unwillingness to disrupt one's current work and private home life[2]
    • career orientation and intellectual pursuits, which may be at odds with parenthood[1][2][3][14]
    • preventing long-term disruption of sleep by crying young children at night[2][4][3]
    • not having to repeatedly clean up a child's mess[4][5]
  • Dislike of (young) children's behavior and/or language[1][2][5]
    • the view that children are egocentric and difficult to handle[6]
  • Situation where one's partner already has children from a previous relationship and one does not have a need or justification to bear or father additional children[2]
  • Uncertainty over the stability of the parenting relationship, and the damage to relationships or difficulties with them getting children may cause[2][3][6][7]
    • partner does not want children[8]
    • fear that sexual activity may decline[1][23]
    • a long-term relationship or marriage might be in danger due to the stress created by children[1][7]
  • Possibility of sexual activity without the need, risk, or willingness to get pregnant by using birth control[2][3][4]
  • Concerns over the effects pregnancy has on the woman's body[24] (weight gain, stretch marks, drooping breasts, hyperpigmentation on the face, looser pelvic muscles leading to reduced sexual pleasure for both the woman and her partner, haemorrhoids, urinary incontinence,[25] death,[26] among others)
  • Disapproval of perfectionist attitudes towards child-rearing in modern societies[1]
    • As a society becomes better developed, it is generally true that expectations of parental investment per child goes up, depressing fertility rates.[27]
  • Dislike of dedicated parents[1]
    • In North American English, the (pejorative) term for this is 'soccer moms'.[1]

Psychological and medical

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Sleep disruption is a reason why some avoid having children.
Some people dislike pregnancy and young children.
  • Pregnancy and childbirth can bring about undesirable changes:
    • substantial neurobiological changes leading to postpartum depression, and feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, among other things.[28] Men can also suffer from postpartum depression.[29]
    • lasting effects on women's health. In particular, research suggests a causal link between gravidity and accelerated cellular aging, because energy is diverted from somatic maintenance to reproductive efforts.[30]
  • The health of one's partner does not allow for children[8]
  • Personal well-being,[31] health and happiness[32]
    • one's health does not allow for children[8]
    • one already has enough problems of one's own[6]
    • gap in happiness between parents and the childfree in favor of the latter, even in places with generous social welfare programs[33]
  • Existing or possible health problems, including genetic disorders that one does not want potential children to inherit[2][6][34][35] and mental health issues[15]
  • Not feeling the 'biological clock' ticking[36] and having no maternal or paternal instincts or drives[18][19]
  • Fear and/or revulsion towards the physical condition of pregnancy (tokophobia),[24] the childbirth experience,[37] and recovery (for example the erosion of physical desirability)[citation needed]
  • Celibacy or a fear and/or revulsion towards sexual activity and intimacy
  • Various fears (for example, of being trapped or disappointed) as well as fears for the child[2]
    • fear of a long-term stressful responsibility and performance anxiety[6]
    • fear of not being able to love one's child[2]
    • fear that one will give birth to a disabled child and taking care of whom is challenging[2]
    • hard to arrange, or pay for, child care[8]
    • fear that one's child may grow up to become an immoral person[6]
    • fear and/or revulsion towards children[38]
  • Perceived or actual incapacity to be a responsible and patient parent[2][4][8][6]
    • belief that other people are better suited to have children than oneself[6]
  • Belief that one is too old[6][19] or too young to have children[6]
  • Parents can become less empathetic towards non-family members.[39]

Economic and cultural

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Modern welfare programs negate the need for children, some argue.
  • Rejection of the claim that the country's economy is at risk if some people do not procreate[5]
  • Belief that very few parents actually have children in order to support the country's economy[5]
  • Burden of taxes and debt[40]
    • Some use the term "wage slaves" when referring to having to pay taxes to support welfare programs such as pensions.[41]
    • Student debts, a serious problem among Millennials and Generation Z in the U.S., discourage many from having children.[42]
  • Stagnant or falling wages[40] at the same time as high cost of living[14]
  • Rising cost of raising a child as a society industrializes and urbanizes[40]
    • In an agrarian society, children are a source of labor and thus income for the family. But as it shifts towards industries other than agriculture and as more people relocate to the cities, children become a net sink of parental resources. This is known as the (first) demographic transition.[40]
  • Being busy with work[43]
  • Unwillingness to pay the cost of raising a child.[6][8] For example, according to Statistics Netherlands and the National Institute for Budgetary Information (Nibud), raising a child cost an average of €120,000 from birth to age 18, or about 17% of one's disposable income as of 2019.[44][45]
  • Living in a time of pestilence or economic recession[14]
  • Changing cultural attitude towards children (known as the second demographic transition)[40]
    • A result of women's liberation, education, and rising workforce participation[40]
      • Women no longer need to marry and bear children in order to be economically secure[17]
    • Transition from traditional and communal values towards expressive individualism[46]
      • In the West, adherents of the countercultural or feminist movements in the 1960s and 1970s typically had no children[47]
    • Growing awareness that childbearing is a choice[7]
    • Declining support for traditional gender roles,[7] and that people need to have children in order to be complete[7] or successful[3]
  • Unwillingness to burden one's children with such care, or preventing a situation in which one's premature death will orphan one's children (at too young an age), or cause them too much sorrow at one's deathbed[2][3]
  • No need for care by one's own children when one is old or close to dying
    • One can be cared for by the modern welfare state (including the establishment of retirement homes)[2][3]
    • Having no children allows one to save more money for retirement.[18]
    • Having children is not a guaranteed safety net for parent-child relations might be strained[21]
  • Ability to donate one's inheritance to a charity of one's own choice instead of having to divide it amongst one's children[5]
  • Greater interest in and affordability of pets compared to children[7][22]

Philosophical

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Antinatalists such as philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer argued that having children is inherently wrong because life is full of suffering.
  • Ability to invest some of the time and money saved by not raising children to other socially meaningful purposes[5]
  • Belief that one can make an even greater contribution to humanity through one's work than through having children (for example by working for or donating to charities)[5]
  • The view that the wish to reproduce oneself is a form of narcissism[4]
  • The opinion that not having children is no more selfish than having them[14][48]
    • Some argue that not having children is an unselfish act[15]
  • Questioning of the need for the next generation and refusal to be 'slaves' to the genes[49]
  • Belief that one can better contribute to the welfare of existing people (including children) than to produce even more[5][6]
  • Belief in a negative, declining condition of the world and culture and in the need to avoid subjecting a child to those negative conditions[6]
    • This includes concerns that calamitous events—effects of global warming, war, or famine—might be likely to occur within the lifetime of one's children and cause their suffering and/or death[50]
  • Rejection of the common argument that a woman who does not have children is "missing out" or will be more motivated at some undefined time.[10]
  • The view that one's friendships and relationships with adults are sufficient for one's own happiness[2]
  • The view that spending time with one's nephews, nieces or stepchildren is sufficient for one's own happiness[6]
  • Antinatalism, the philosophy asserting that it is inherently immoral to bring people into the world.[51]
    • Antinatalists argue in favor of the asymmetry of pleasure and pain. The absence of pleasure is neutral whereas the absence of pain is positive.[48] Hence, one may generally wish to spare a potential child from the suffering of life.[51][48]
    • Moreover, the parent can never get the consent of the unborn child, therefore a decision to procreate would be an imposition of life.[51] However, some childfree people explicitly reject antinatalism; they may even like the children of others, but just do not want any themselves.[5]
  • Belief that one is not 'missing out' on any of the alleged benefits of parenthood as long as one does not know what parenthood is like[5]
  • Belief that it is wrong to intentionally have a child when there are so many children available for adoption[citation needed]
  • Belief that people tend to have children for the wrong reasons (e.g. fear, social pressures from cultural norms)[5][36]
  • Adherence to the principles of a religious organization which rejects having children[51][48][52] or the rejection of procreative religious beliefs imposed by one's family and/or community[citation needed]
  • Belief that it is irresponsible to 'just try' what parenthood is like when one is still in doubt, as it burdens one with a responsibility to raise a child to adulthood once it's born, with no turning back when one is disappointed and regrets the decision[5][10]
  • Belief that one can still contribute to 'the education of children to become happy and empathic beings' that a society needs (for example, by being a teacher or babysitter) without being a parent oneself[5]
  • Opposition to capitalism, believed to necessitate procreation[1]
  • Opinion that the traditional family is "a decadent, energy-absorbing, destructive, wasteful institution"[53]
    • This is held by radical feminists.[53]
  • General discontent with modern society

Logical

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  • Any specific activity requires motivation or justification, not inaction[54]

Environmental

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Reduction of one's carbon footprint for various actions


References

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  1. ^ a b c d e f g h i j Saunders, Doug (2007-09-29). "I really regret it. I really regret having children". The Globe and Mail. Toronto. Archived from the original on 2018-10-21. Retrieved 2019-01-14.
  2. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t Saskia Aukema (13 November 2016). "Hoezo heb jij geen kinderen?". Trouw (in Dutch). Archived from the original on 22 September 2021. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  3. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l Stegeman, Lotte (14 May 2020). "Waarom hebben zoveel mensen een kinderwens?" [Why do so many people have a desire to have children?]. Quest (in Dutch). Archived from the original on 27 May 2020. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  4. ^ a b c d e f g h Sebastiaan van de Water (20 March 2020). "Zijn er nu meer mensen die geen kinderen willen dan vroeger?". Quest (in Dutch). Archived from the original on 29 May 2020. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  5. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r Tobias Leenaert (2 September 2015). "Kindvrij vs kinderloos". Mondiaal Nieuws (in Dutch). Archived from the original on 1 November 2016. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  6. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t Bodin, Maja; Plantin, Lars; Elmerstig, Eva (December 2019). "A wonderful experience or a frightening commitment? An exploration of men's reasons to (not) have children". Reproductive Biomedicine & Society Online. 9. ScienceDirect: 19–27. doi:10.1016/j.rbms.2019.11.002. PMC 6953767. PMID 31938736.
  7. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l Patel, Arti (December 10, 2017). "People who don't want kids: 'There's never been a day where I've regretted my decision'". Lifestyle. CBC. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  8. ^ a b c d e f g h Arie de Graaf (24 May 2004). "Childlessness and education level" (in Dutch). Statistics Netherlands. Archived from the original on 12 June 2020. Retrieved 31 May 2020.
  9. ^ a b Tucker, Eleanor (November 8, 2014). "I used to judge childfree women". Family. The Guardian. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  10. ^ a b c d Cite error: The named reference Buonadonna was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  11. ^ Fleming, Amy (June 20, 2018). "Would you give up having children to save the planet? Meet the couples who have". The Guardian. Retrieved March 25, 2021.
  12. ^ a b c Zacharek, Stephanie (January 3, 2019). "Why I Have Zero Regrets About My Childless Life". Time. Archived from the original on December 11, 2020. Retrieved March 25, 2021.
  13. ^ a b Culhane, John (May 24, 2017). "For Many Queer Adults, Parenting Still Isn't Part of the Picture". Slate. Retrieved March 25, 2021.
  14. ^ a b c d e f g Cain, Sian (July 25, 2020). "Why a generation is choosing to be child-free". Books. The Guardian. Retrieved March 9, 2021.
  15. ^ a b c d Scott, Kellie (December 16, 2020). "Undecided about having kids? Reading this might help". ABC (Australia). Retrieved March 25, 2021.
  16. ^ Matthews, Elise J.; Desjardins, Michel (1 November 2020). "The Meaning of Risk in Reproductive Decisions after Childhood Abuse and Neglect". Journal of Family Violence. 35 (8): 793–802. doi:10.1007/s10896-019-00062-2. ISSN 1573-2851. S2CID 149446087. Retrieved 15 September 2022.
  17. ^ a b c d Gan, Nectar (January 30, 2021). "Chinese millennials aren't getting married, and the government is worried". CNN. Retrieved February 1, 2021.
  18. ^ a b c Friedman, Danielle (July 14, 2017). "Why Some Women Don't Want Kids, Childless by Choice". The Daily Beast. Archived from the original on December 16, 2020. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  19. ^ a b c Cite error: The named reference :19 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  20. ^ The Hidden Cost of Motherhood Archived 2018-11-03 at the Wayback Machine. The Sydney Morning Herald. April 16th, 2018.
  21. ^ a b "Emma Gannon: I'm made to feel guilty for not having children". BBC. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  22. ^ a b c Leggate, James (November 6, 2020). "More pets than children in Taiwan as birthrate drops, report indicates". Lifestyle. Fox News. Retrieved March 7, 2021.
  23. ^ na. ISBN 9780549512509. Retrieved 4 April 2018 – via Google Books.
  24. ^ a b Layhe, Ellie (September 13, 2018). "Pregnancy phobia is being 'driven by social media'". BBC Radio. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  25. ^ Altman, Daniel; Ekström, Åsa; Gustafsson, Catharina; López, Annika; Falconer, Christian; Zetterström, Jan (2006). "Risk of Urinary Incontinence After Childbirth". Obstetrics & Gynecology. 108 (4): 873–878. doi:10.1097/01.AOG.0000233172.96153.ad. PMID 17012448. S2CID 23797296.
  26. ^ Christian, Parul; Katz, Joanne; Wu, Lee; Kimbrough-Pradhan, Elizabeth; Khatry, Subarna K.; Leclerq, Steven C.; West, Keith P. (2008). "Risk factors for pregnancy-related mortality: A prospective study in rural Nepal". Public Health. 122 (2): 161–172. doi:10.1016/j.puhe.2007.06.003. PMC 2367232. PMID 17826810.
  27. ^ University College London (February 17, 2008). "Increased Life Expectancy May Mean Lower Fertility". Science Daily. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  28. ^ Motherhood brings the most dramatic brain changes of a woman’s life Archived 2020-10-11 at the Wayback Machine. Boston Globe. July 17th, 2018.
  29. ^ Postnatal Depression: Fathers Can Suffer Similar Issues to Women, Say Experts Archived 2020-10-28 at the Wayback Machine. The Guardian. August 9, 2018.
  30. ^ Reproduction predicts shorter telomeres and epigenetic age acceleration among young adult women Archived 2020-09-15 at the Wayback Machine. Nature. July 23, 2018.
  31. ^ "Having children is not the formula for a happy life — Quartz". qz.com. 23 October 2014. Archived from the original on 1 July 2018. Retrieved 4 April 2018.
  32. ^ Cain, Sian (May 29, 2019). "Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert". The Observer. The Guardian. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  33. ^ Glass, Jennifer; Simon, Robin W.; Andersson, Matthew A. (May 1, 2017). "Parenthood and Happiness: Effects of Work-Family Reconciliation Policies in 22 OECD Countries". American Journal of Sociology. 122 (3): 886–929. doi:10.1086/688892. PMC 5222535. PMID 28082749.
  34. ^ Engwall, Kristina (May 4, 2014). "Childfreeness, parenthood and adulthood". Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research. 16 (4): 333–347. doi:10.1080/15017419.2013.781955. ISSN 1745-3011. S2CID 144352218.
  35. ^ Brownell, Kristen (July 6, 2020). "Why I don't have a child: I refuse to pass on my addiction genes". The Guardian. Archived from the original on 2022-07-27. Retrieved 2022-11-13.
  36. ^ a b Cite error: The named reference Time20130812 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  37. ^ Hofberg; Brockington (2000). "Tokophobia: an unreasoning dread of childbirth". British Journal of Psychiatry. 176: 83–85. doi:10.1192/bjp.176.1.83. PMID 10789333.
  38. ^ "Medical Definition of Fear of children". Medicinenet. Archived from the original on 2017-09-11. Retrieved 2020-08-27.
  39. ^ Having Kids Can Make Parents Less Empathetic Archived 2020-09-30 at the Wayback Machine. The Atlantic. November 18, 2015.
  40. ^ a b c d e f g Perry, Sarah (July 8, 2014). "Children aren't worth very much - that's why we no longer make many". Quartz. Archived from the original on February 26, 2021. Retrieved March 7, 2021.
  41. ^ a b c Cite error: The named reference VHEMT was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  42. ^ Leanne, Italie (August 30, 2022). "Gen Z, millennials speak out on reluctance to become parents". Associated Press. Retrieved August 30, 2022.
  43. ^ a b c Trung, Son; Nguyen, Quy (January 7, 2020). "Overworked Saigon women have no time to have babies". VN Express. Retrieved March 17, 2020.
  44. ^ Kaj van Arkel (26 October 2017). "Wat kost een kind?". Algemeen Dagblad (in Dutch). Archived from the original on 12 October 2020. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  45. ^ "Hoeveel kost een kind tot zijn achttiende?". Quest (in Dutch). 28 May 2019. Archived from the original on 30 May 2020. Retrieved 30 May 2020.
  46. ^ Kaufmann, Eric (2013). "Chapter 7: Sacralization by Stealth? The Religious Consequences of Low Fertility in Europe". In Kaufmann, Eric; Wilcox, W. Bradford (eds.). Whither the Child? Causes and Consequences of Low Fertility. Boulder, Colorado, United States: Paradigm Publishers. pp. 135–56. ISBN 978-1-61205-093-5.
  47. ^ Longman, Phillip (October 20, 2009). "The Return of Patriarchy". Foreign Policy. Retrieved November 1, 2020.
  48. ^ a b c d Bagchi, Shrabonti (February 15, 2019). "Inside India's Anti-Natalist Cult". Live Mint. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  49. ^ a b c d "Sui genocide". The Economist. December 17, 1998. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  50. ^ a b c d Schneider-Mayerson, Matthew; Leong, Kit Ling (2020-11-17). "Eco-reproductive concerns in the age of climate change". Climatic Change. 163 (2): 1007–1023. Bibcode:2020ClCh..163.1007S. doi:10.1007/s10584-020-02923-y. ISSN 0165-0009. S2CID 226983864. Archived from the original on 2021-01-18. Retrieved 2020-11-23.
  51. ^ a b c d Wolf, Chion (July 9, 2020). "You Didn't Ask To Be Here: Adventures In Antinatalism". WNPR. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  52. ^ Kent, S.A. "Scientology -- Is this a Religion?". Marburg Journal of Religion. 4 (1): 1999. Archived from the original on 2011-09-29. Retrieved 2011-03-25.
  53. ^ a b Garraty, John S. (1991). "Chapter XXXII Society in Flux, 1945-1980. Women's Liberation". The American Nation: A History of the United States. United States of America: Harper Collins. pp. 903–6. ISBN 0-06-042312-9.
  54. ^ Franken, Robert (2002). "What Causes Behavior?". Human motivation. Belmont, CA, United States: Wadsworth. ISBN 978-0-534-55530-6.
  55. ^ a b Janan Ganesh (20 September 2019). "Parenthood should be taken off its pedestal". Financial Times. Archived from the original on 26 September 2020. Retrieved 31 May 2020.
  56. ^ a b c May, Todd (December 17, 2018). "Would Human Extinction Be a Tragedy?". The New York Times. Archived from the original on February 16, 2021. Retrieved March 17, 2021.
  57. ^ a b Angeloni, Alice (July 14, 2019). "New Zealand couples concerned for planet choose childless futures". Stuff. Retrieved March 7, 2021.
  58. ^ Should We Be Having Kids In The Age Of Climate Change? Archived 2020-09-07 at the Wayback Machine. NPR. August 18, 2016.
  59. ^ Having children is one of the most destructive things you can to do the environment, say researchers Archived 2020-10-14 at the Wayback Machine. The Independent. July 12, 2017.

Further reading

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