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Molly Kochan

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Molly Kochan
Born(1973-07-19)July 19, 1973
New York, US
DiedMarch 8, 2019(2019-03-08) (aged 45)
Known forDying for Sex

Molly Kochan (July 19, 1973 – March 8, 2019) was an American podcaster from Los Angeles. After being diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2015, she separated from her husband and had numerous sexual liaisons; these were the subject of the 2020 podcast Dying for Sex, which became a TV series in 2025. She also maintained a blog, "Everything Leads to This", and penned a memoir, Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole, which was published in August 2020.

Biography

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Kochan was born on July 19, 1973,[1] in New York. Her parents met at a concert and married after she was conceived, divorcing shortly afterwards.[2] Her father, Alex Kochan,[3] later managed REO Speedwagon and Survivor, while her mother struggled with cocaine addiction and anxiety. Aged seven, she was molested by her mother's boyfriend, who also drugged her mother.[2] In 1999[4] or 2000,[5] having recently moved to Los Angeles,[2] she became best friends with Nikki Boyer after being paired with her at an acting class in Los Angeles; the pair were together when they met Kochan's future husband, then a waiter at one of their favorite cafés.[5]

In 2005, after encountering pain during sex and finding a lump in her breast,[6] she made an appointment with her gynecologist, who wrongly told her she was too young to have breast cancer; she asked again in 2011 after it got bigger, by which time it had spread to her lymph nodes.[4] She underwent chemotherapy, a mastectomy, and hormone therapy, the last of which induced insomnia and increased her libido; to cope, she began sending men selfies of herself in lingerie.[2] She later underwent breast reconstruction, and based her new breasts on Boyer's.[4] In 2015, after experiencing hip pain, she underwent a biopsy,[2] and was subsequently diagnosed with stage IV cancer in August 2015,[6] which had spread to her bones, brain, and liver and was terminal.[2] She subsequently set up a blog, "Everything Leads to This",[7] and began having cybersex with strangers.[4] At the time, she and her husband were undergoing couples counseling,[2] and Kochan left her husband in March 2016, outlining her action in a blog post.[6]

She subsequently spent a couple of years having a large number of sexual liaisons; she and Boyer once counted 188 sexual partners.[2] She did not allow penetrative sex due to the effects of an early negative experience and due to the medication she was taking causing menopause, but did encounter a man who dressed up as a dog and wanted to live in a cage in her house,[8] a man with a foot fetish, a man who wanted to be urinated on, and a man who wanted to be kicked in the penis.[2] She bought stilettos for the last of these.[5] In 2018, having already been on two dates that day, Kochan met with Boyer for lunch, where they developed the idea for a podcast called Dying for Sex,[9] which would deal with her cancer and trauma and Boyer's IVF.[10] Kochan later started an Instagram account with that name.[11]

The pair pitched Dying for Sex to TV executives, who understood neither the concept nor how to promote it.[4] The pair then made ten episodes themselves,[6] which addressed nearly 200 of Kochan's encounters.[12] Production was impacted several times by Kochan's failing health; part of episode four was recorded in a hospital, as Kochan was receiving treatment for thrombi, while her voice became weaker and raspier towards the end of the series.[4] Kochan was hospitalized in December 2018, though was under the impression that her stay would be brief, and continued to sext; one man visited Kochan in hospital and received oral sex from her.[13] After she was intubated,[2] it became apparent that she would require hospice care,[14] and Kochan and Boyer opted to continue recording on her phone.[4]

Kochan became more confident over this period, directly addressing doctors who addressed her inappropriately and turning down visitors who drained her,[4] and spent her final months writing her memoir,[4] Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole.[15] She died just after midnight on March 8, 2019,[2] having been cared for by Boyer until the end;[8] the podcast was broadcast in six installments[6] between February[15] and March 2020,[16] while Screw Cancer was released in August 2020.[15] Boyer self-published Kochan's memoir[4] as she preferred to release it without embellishment.[17] In November 2023, it was announced that the podcast would be serialized for a TV series;[18] the show was released on April 4, 2025[19] and was loosely based on Kochan's experiences.[8]

References

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  1. ^ Boyer, Nikki (July 19, 2024). "You'd be 51 today. And we'd be having a 6 hour lunch. And laughing at stupid inside jokes. I miss you. A lot!". Instagram. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
  2. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k O'Neill, Natasha (April 4, 2025). "'Dying for Sex': The True Story of Molly Kochan, Cancer Patient Turned Sexual Explorer". Vanity Fair. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  3. ^ "Molly Ouanes Obituary (2019)". The New York Times. Retrieved April 20, 2025 – via Legacy.com.
  4. ^ a b c d e f g h i j Handler, Rachel (April 4, 2025). "The Kinkiest Show on TV". Vulture. Retrieved April 19, 2025.
  5. ^ a b c Hoyle, Antonia (March 29, 2025). "My Dying Friend Went on a Sex Adventure. It Made Her Feel Alive". The Times. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  6. ^ a b c d e Eidell, Lynsey (April 4, 2025). "The True Story of 'Dying for Sex': All About Molly Kochan's Real-Life Cancer Diagnosis and Sexual Self-Discovery". People. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  7. ^ Lowe, Lindsay (April 7, 2025). "The Inspiring and Heartbreaking True Story That Inspired 'Dying for Sex'". Today.com. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  8. ^ a b c Waxman, Olivia B. (April 3, 2025). "The True Story Behind 'Dying for Sex'". Time. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  9. ^ May, Naomi (March 31, 2025). "This Is the Heartbreaking True Story Behind 'Dying for Sex', Your New Must-Watch TV Series". Elle. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  10. ^ Watson, Cleo (April 4, 2025). "She Was Diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. So She Slept with As Many Men As She Could". The Telegraph. ISSN 0307-1235. Retrieved April 17, 2025.
  11. ^ Wehniainen, Grace (April 4, 2025). "Here's What Happened to the Real-Life Molly from 'Dying for Sex'". Bustle. Retrieved April 13, 2025.
  12. ^ Perry, Kevin E G (April 6, 2025). "The Heartbreaking True Story Behind New Michelle Williams Drama Dying for Sex". The Independent. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
  13. ^ Jepsen, Belinda (September 24, 2020). "Nikki's Friend Slept with Dozens Before She Died. After, Nikki Learned What It Meant to Them". Mamamia. Retrieved April 25, 2025.
  14. ^ Carson, Lexi (April 9, 2025). "'Dying for Sex' Bosses Reveal the Sex Scene They Cut and Why That Death Was So Hard to Write". The Hollywood Reporter. Retrieved April 19, 2025.
  15. ^ a b c Ross, Charley (February 11, 2025). "Dying for Sex, the New TV Series Starring Michelle Williams, Has Finally Dropped a Trailer". Glamour UK. Retrieved April 19, 2025.
  16. ^ Ritschel, Chelsea (March 5, 2020). "Podcast Follows Terminally Ill Woman Who Left Her Husband to Explore Sexuality and 'Reclaim Her Body'". The Independent. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
  17. ^ Fleming, Kirsten (August 17, 2020). "'Dying for Sex' Podcast Star Has a New Memoir a Year After Her Death". New York Post. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
  18. ^ Andreeva, Nellie (November 30, 2023). "Michelle Williams to Headline FX Series 'Dying for Sex' from Liz Meriwether, Kim Rosenstock & Leslye Headland Based on Podcast". Deadline Hollywood. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
  19. ^ Mizrahi Finder, Moriel (April 4, 2025). "How to Watch Dying for Sex, Your Next Weekend Binge". Elle. Retrieved April 20, 2025.
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