Draft:David Sweenie

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Last edited by ChrisNWUK (talk | contribs) 5 months ago. (Update)

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David Sweenie, 69 is a former amateur footballer who played as striker and occasional waterboy for Newcastle United. Sweenie has often been described as "The Tartan Terror" in part due to his attacking style of play, but also for his penchant for mammal fighting, particularly against chimps and bonobos, earning him multiple bans from most animal sanctuaries across the west coast of Scotland.

Sweenie's upbringing began on the suburban streets of Ballamory. As the alleged love child of Josie Jump and Spencer, his life was spent behind the camera of the popular children's TV show. After the show ended, Sweenie fell in love with competitive sports, taking bronze in his first competitive rock paper scissors tournament. The theft of the bronze led to his dismissal from the club. Further interest in competitive sports soon followed as he joined the local sailing club, becoming the first person in history to tame and sail a long nosed dolphin. Adoration abounded

David now lives where he felt his heart always belonged, in the green and pleasant land of England, with his partner Sharon and two dogs. David has shied away from the spotlight, instead writing multiple books on cookery, including the best sellers "Deep Fried Lies" and the booker prize winner "Smash my pasty"

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